We all have that one person who catches our eye, right? Someone we know we shouldn’t get too wrapped up in, yet we can’t help but think about that person more than we’d like to admit. For me, there’s this guy who effortlessly pulls my attention. I’ll admit it: he’s my “eye candy.” There’s no deep, emotional connection between us, no grand storyline of unspoken feelings or shared glances that lead to something more. No, this is pure admiration from a distance, and somehow, I’m perfectly okay with that. At least I am trying to be.
I find it funny how each glance I lay at him, my heart smiles. Every time I see him, there’s this magnetic pull, as if he occupies a space in my mind I wasn’t expecting to give away. He’s one of those people who exudes confidence without even trying, the type that seems comfortable in his own skin. It’s in the way he speaks—smooth, with a kind of quiet authority. He could be talking about the most mundane things, yet I’d still find myself drawn in, hanging on to every word as if it had some deeper meaning. The harder I try to avoid him, the more drawn I am. And it’s not just his voice. There’s something about the way he carries himself like the world could be falling apart, and he’d still walk through it unfazed. I don’t know if it’s a natural trait or something he’s cultivated over time, but it’s definitely working for him. I sometimes catch myself wondering what it would be like to really know him, to have a conversation that goes beyond the pleasantries, to unravel the layers of this person I’ve crafted in my head. To simply stare in his eyes while he speaks and gently nodding while agreeing. Noticing how his lips move as he speaks his mind, how gently he brushes his hair by passing his fingers through it. I'd notice how softly his spectacles land on his nose bridge, how his expressions change with a twitch in his eyebrow, how he nods his head in approval, and how occupied he looks with his thoughts at times.
But maybe that is the fun part, or it is supposed to be. The not knowing. He’s a bit of a mystery to me, and I’m okay with that. There’s a thrill in admiring someone from afar, a kind of guilty pleasure in keeping them at arm’s length while still indulging in the occasional daydream. It’s safe, and more importantly, it doesn’t come with the pressure of trying to figure out what happens next. While a part of me dies inside, hoping and wanting to get closer to him I somehow manage to find peace in the unknown.
I often think about what it would be like if I let myself get to know him—if I gave in to my curiosity and tried to bridge the gap between my fantasy and reality. I could, but I’m not sure I want to. There’s something wonderfully simple about this distant admiration. It’s a space where I can project all the qualities I think he has without risking the reality that he might not live up to them. I consider it as a way to keep myself happy and my expectations soaring high.
I believe we all have been there, at least once in our lives. We create this version of someone based on tiny glimpses, brief interactions, and the idea of who they could be. It’s like flipping through a photo album of someone’s life, seeing only the highlights and none of the mundane, everyday moments that make them human. Maybe that’s why I’m so comfortable admiring from afar—it lets me preserve the ideal. The charming man I want him to be, the man that smiles from the heart and when he looks at me, the time stops. His giggles find a way into my heart. His curious expressions, his persona- everything seems to be perfect. How much I want to tear down the wall between us and get to know the bare, real versions of each other. How I want to share his interests and learn about him, understand him, and know the part that he seems to hide so well. A part that drives him, keeps him on his toes, what is it? Does he have a dark side? What reflection is on his face, the confused and agitated glimpse, when he stops smiling? As I write all this, trying to express my heart's deepest desire I feel like Jane Austen- the romantic.
I know it’s a bit of a dead-end. He’s not someone I’ll pursue or try to form a deeper connection with. But as I am writing this, listening to Victorian classical music my heart is jumping in glee; asking me why can't we try? Well, how can I explain to my love-filled pound of flesh the reality of this bitter world? Sometimes it is beautiful to admire from afar my dear. There’s a certain wisdom in knowing when to let things remain as they are, in keeping some people in the “what if” category rather than the “what now.”
Maybe it’s the intrigue, or maybe it’s just fun to have someone to admire without all the emotional baggage that real relationships can bring. It’s almost like a harmless indulgence, one that doesn’t interfere with the rest of my life but adds a little bit of color to it. And in some ways, isn’t that what we all need sometimes? A little bit of eye candy to keep things interesting.
So, for now, he’ll stay just that: eye candy. A source of fascination, a curiosity that occupies my mind from time to time, but not something I’ll act on. And you know what? I think I’m perfectly okay with that.
Bery nice