A friend of mine recently asked me, "Ipsita, why do you invest so much energy in people? Why do you go out of your way for them when they won’t do the same for you? Don’t you think if you spent that time on yourself, you'd be more content?"
He isn’t wrong. There have been moments when I’ve felt alone, without a shoulder to lean on, without an ear to pour my troubles into. But tell me something... is that really what we need? Is life meant to be a calculated exchange, where we give only what we know we’ll receive back? Is that really a way to live, just seeking and wanting?
I choose to stand by the people in my world, not because they owe me, but because it brings me joy. I can’t be there for everyone, no one can, but I can be there when it truly matters. And that is enough. There’s a certain kind of peace in knowing that someone feels safe, heard, and seen in my presence. That, in itself, is a gift... something I truly cherish.
For the longest time, I lived in my own bubble, untouched by the chaos of human connection, resenting every ounce of attachment and connection. But the day I understood the joy of giving without expectation, my life changed. Why? Because all along, I had a different perception of life. I used to feel upset and question my relationships, thinking people weren’t really there for me, that I had no one to depend on. But after many ups and downs, I realized something... what truly hurt me wasn’t people’s actions but the expectations I placed upon them. Once I let go of that, life became simpler.
It is only when you let go of the weight of expectations that you realize how much it was holding you back.
Think about it... when you do something for someone expecting a return, does it truly bring happiness? Or does it create an invisible contract, a transaction disguised as kindness? You start viewing life as a calculated spreadsheet. I do things because I want to, not because I have to. I find beauty in the stories people carry, in the way they express, in the way they navigate life. And through them, I grow.
That doesn’t mean it never hurts. I won’t lie... sometimes I feel drained. Sometimes I pour so much into others that I forget to refill my own cup. But I find my renewal in solitude, in faith, in moments of stillness with the universe.
I seek my peace in the one who gives without ever asking for anything back- God.
Yes, lending an ear won’t change someone’s life. But maybe, just maybe, it will make them feel a little less alone. A small act of kindness, random gifts, remembering little things, making someone’s special days even more special... won’t erase their misery, but it might give them a break from it, a fleeting moment of joy. And isn’t that just beautiful?
We are here to help each other grow, to remind each other that we are not alone in this vast, complicated world. I know this idea can seem foreign, giving freely, without expectation, but it’s what I have learned. I find happiness in the happiness of others, and I feel pain when they are in pain.
As someone once said, "As we grow spiritually, we naturally move towards feeling happy when others are happy and unhappy when others are unhappy, feeling joy in others' happiness and sorrow in others' suffering. That is the ultimate way to live life."
The sun burns itself to give light and warmth to the world.
Wood burns itself to provide heat and comfort to others.
An incense stick burns itself to spread fragrance.
A mother sacrifices her own desires and comforts for her children.
To truly remain in knowledge and love, one must be willing to burn, that is sacrificing personal comforts to uplift others. When we give more, we grow more in knowledge and love, spreading light wherever we go. I see myself walking on this path. And I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
So no, I won’t stop giving. I won’t stop being there. Not because I expect the same in return, but because this is how I choose to live. And I am proud of that.
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