Unlearning-Reclaiming-Becoming

There’s this thing about adulthood no one really prepares you for—isolation.

Not the kind that’s loud and heartbreaking like a breakup, but the quiet kind. The kind that slowly creeps in as you grow, evolve, and start protecting your peace a little more fiercely.

I used to think being alone was the worst thing that could happen.

So, I clung. To people, to conversations, to plans I didn’t even want to be part of. I mistook company for connection and filled silence with noise—just so I didn’t have to face the stillness. Just so I didn’t have to sit with me.

But adulthood taught me something brutal and liberating: Not everyone is meant to walk with you. And sometimes, you outgrow the people you once felt so deeply connected to. There’s grief in that. But also, a quiet sort of freedom.

Because here’s the truth—I don’t want certain people around me anymore. And some people don’t want me. And I’ve made peace with both.

It took me a long time to understand that the absence of people doesn’t mean the absence of love. It can mean space. Space to breathe. Space to build. Space to heal.

I’ve learned to stop chasing empty companionship. To stop watering dead plants just so the garden doesn’t look barren. To stop fearing my own company like it’s a punishment.

Now? I’m learning to be my own friend. To laugh at my own jokes. To take myself out. To dance alone in my room after a hard workout. To be my own partner in crime, my own gym buddy, my own shoulder to lean on when things feel heavy.

And most importantly—to be my own cheerleader. Loudly. Shamelessly. Proudly.

Because I’ve realised: the relationship you have with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship in your life.

So here’s to walking into rooms alone and not shrinking. To clapping for yourself when no one else is watching. To building a life where solitude isn’t scary, it’s sacred.

Come what may, giving up isn’t an option. Not now. Not ever. Not when I’ve finally started choosing me.

Let’s break it down-

1. Solitude doesn’t have to be deliberate. But you should always remember to choose yourself.

2. Allow yourself to outgrow people. Not everyone is meant to stay forever, and that’s okay. 

3. No matter what, never ever sacrifice what makes you, you. You are unique, don’t nudge the whole version just to fit into someone else’s. (Adjustments are different)

4. Always know when to say NO! Your boundaries are your own, keep your head high. It is okay to say NO when you don’t feel like it. 

5. Silence is most often better than retaliation. No matter how bad you want to scream and let them know how they hurt you… Walk away. Silence is power, the best one you will ever hold. 

6. Over explaining and continuously explaining won’t help them understand you any better. Sometimes, just don’t. 

7. Sit with yourself. Embrace the world away from chaos. Be yourself– dance, giggle, meditate, read. Do whatever makes you happy. 

8. Take care of yourself. Your body and your mind.